Mobear Writes The Letter

Assalamualaikum wbt

Peace be upon our beloved Messenger,
Nabi Muhammad

(See, told you, the next entry will be in the next month!)


Still trying to adapt.

I've been missing my FAMILY a lot.

It's just when you had 17 years with your family,
and you have some kind of bestie in Jordan (PAIN),
and you kinda have internet and medium and so forth to contact with people you love,

Those missing feeling heals y'know?

For some people, kalau berjauhan, mostly akan homesick.

As for me, when I'm sick, and that will be homesick.

I used to get sick and muntah-muntah a night days before.

Like stomach cramp in 2am.

Who would bear such pain alone?

And the fact that all your housemates were asleep,
made you terribly feel hopeless.

And that was when I wanted to go home desperately.

The one who was awake at that time was him.

I couldn't help it to like merengek tau.

I know I shouldn't do that.

I know about ikhtilat and all sort.

I'm still learning tho.

I know yet I couldn't resists.

I'd befriended with guys since I was a child.

I had some friends-guys, and a few I used to close to.

20 years alived and there were three ajnabis I used to get close to.

Two were gone, gone with the wind,
Apart from my mistake, and apart of the feelings I couldn't describe here.

And there's this one guy.

I hate him sometimes,
But I couldn't hate him for a long time.

He was like my kryptonite.

You know?

Like Superman's kryptonite.

He can be jerks sometimes.

Yet his kindness overpowered by it.

The reason I was stuck with him wallahi I don't know.


Mobear.

He gave me that.

In fact he was the first guy who ever gave me a bear quite macam indescribable.

I love Mobear.

Like I'm not easily to fall for a bear.

But my Mobear was like a healing pill for me.

And I regret every second for living it at home.

I miss it A LOT like A LOT.







Founding a bear here in Jordan yesterday made heart aches more and more.

Until today, the thing that we keep on talking was Mobear.

I sound sooo childish!

And no one can understand that better than the one who give it eh?

I used to cry A LOT because of a
jerk-who-is-not-so-jerk-yet-kinda-the-jerk-jerk

Who on earth will cry when hearing the song of Blue Night by MLTR?

Nobody in their right mind will cry pathetically because of that.
(until today, Ina and Amaq make a BIG FUSS over that. How humiliating !)

*to save your time searching for the lyric, let me copy paste it here*

Lately you have been asking me
if all my words are true
Don't you know I'll do anything for you
Sometimes I haven't been good to you
Sometimes I've made you cry
And I am sorry for everything
but I promise you girl
I promise you this
Chorus:
When the blue night is over my face
on the dark side of the world in space
When I'm all alone with the stars above
you are the one I love
So there's no need to worry girl
My heart is sealed for you
And no one's gonna take it away
cos' I promise you girl
I promise you this
Chorus:
When the blue night is over my face
on the dark side of the world in space
When I'm all alone with the stars above

 you are the one I love
Your voice is calling to me in my dreams
My love is stronger than it's ever been

Silly aite?

Don't ask me why m crying.

I just cried haha.

I whined to Amaq and Ina while crying!

Yes I did that omigosh in fact I don't know either my EIFJAN pernah tengok or tak I cry hihi

And I whined to him too.

Like I was calling him and cried some more.

So stupid.

So childish.

He listened well. He still did as for now.

I did said I wanted to have a bear.
Like giant bear.

I posted it once in Instagram before.

Some people thought it was a hint to the-jerk-jerk ;
it was quite true a first.

I thought he cared.

He did.
And the feelings gone.
So did the care.

And I never once thought the one who will gave it was him.

I treasured it so much.

My family knows how much Mobear means to me.

As much as Momon is.

Even my sissy makes a status out of it.

Here it goes ;

" Siti Syazana Afiqah, Mobear is fine here, in Malaysia. I got friend named Maggi. See. We are happy. One of my friend is Nami, the small white bear wears Gaza scarf. Always be in the car, accompanying your sister to school.

I'm happy here and you should be too.
You see, if you seek the pleasant of people or the happiness from them, they always will make you sad. For they are just human, just like you, you too.. Sometimes make others sad. Forgive them and forgive yourself. Seek the happiness, the tranquility from Allah alone. This world is far too old. Too sick. Dearest, if we don't make it; to be in heaven? Where else should we go? If Allah doesn't help us, and if He hates us, to whom that we may ask the forgiveness, help and heaven?
May sincerity resides well, firm in your heart and the one who is writing, reading this. Seeking Allah's pleasure is the utmost way of life. Be it you or me. Anyone else. Just don't cry baby. Don't be sad. You know just to whom you need to turn to.
-------------
Kakak will take care of mama, abah, adik, mobear, here. InshaaAllah.

I'm touched.

And literally crying.

I was blessed by people who love me,
who used to love me,
and who never left to love me,
and last who still be here for me even I said goodbye.


Alhamdulillah.

Syukran 'ala kulli hal.

PS : I LOVE YOU MOBEAR